Many people in the media think that Tony Stark is only just an egocentric playboy. As an adult, he was renowned for being casually arrogant, apathetic, callous and a hedonist who enjoyed the finer things in life, namely drinking, gambling, partying and flirting. However, it is shown that Tony does care for people, especially his friends. Although Tony causes trouble on occasion, he is more than willing to make up for his mistakes, which is also why he became a superhero. Eccentric, brilliant, outgoing and cocky, Tony is a classic playboy, with his wealth, power, and natural charm allowing him to get just about any woman he wants. But despite his rather carefree and overly confident personality, inside Tony's heart lies loneliness, as Ho Yinsen aptly described him as: "A man that has everything, but has nothing". Even following his reformation and birth as Iron Man, this stigma surrounding Tony persisted as many were quick to point fingers at him believing his arrogance and callous attitudes were the cause of many problems even if he would have only a tenuous connection to the issue at hand.
Before his kidnapping, Tony was a self-centered, arrogant person who didn't truly care for many people other than his closest friends. Even during this period of his life, he had a moral code believing the weapons he developed were being used exclusively by the United States and its allies for peaceful purposes but never caring enough to actually look too deeply into his company's dealings. He also funded large humanitarian inventions and programs via his arms dealings, something he felt justified manufacturing weapons.
During the following years, however, Tony has matured, gradually becoming more of a team player and becoming somewhat less arrogant and cynical. He even began opening up and having a real relationship with Pepper Potts. Tony's exploits as Iron Man have lead him to reevaluate his life, thus Tony now strives to use his inventions in a more responsible and considerate way. A textbook example of a Byronic hero, he never fully let go of his character flaws, however, using them to push him forward as a reminder to do better and often making self-deprecating jokes or comments. Despite this attitude, Tony is an exceptionally brave and selfless individual as shown when he single-handedly faced a near-omnipotent Thanos armed with nothing but a sword without hesitation, a trait that earned him the Titan's genuine respect as a hero. He further displayed it by begging that Strange not trade his life for the Time Stone, aware that his own survival was immaterial in light of the trillions of deaths Thanos was planning to enact.
His experiences while imprisoned by the Ten Rings, especially his injury and seeing his weapons being used by terrorists, hardened Tony into a brave, determined, and somewhat ruthless fighter, despite his sarcastic and enthusiastic personality remaining intact. Seeing first hand how innocent people were being harmed by his weapons and business while he remained ignorant greatly enraged him and motivated him to become a better man. This experience gave him an emotionally detached view to combat with Tony being perfectly willing to kill an enemy should the need arise particularly those whose goals paralleled those of the Ten Rings, such as Doctor List of HYDRA. He was also willing to kill to protect his allies, boldly saying he would kill Drax if Star-Lord killed Spider-Man. Despite this, he was also willing to punish his enemies without killing them, as he left Abu Bakaar at the mercy of the villagers his men were attacking and left several HYDRA soldiers in Sokovia alive but wounded. He was not entirely merciless however offering several of Aldrich Killian's men a chance to stand down and allowing the sole survivor to leave peacefully upon surrendering. Even when confronted by Captain America's betrayal, he offered the man several chances to step aside.
Even after starting a new life as a superhero, Stark's showy personality has never fully changed - as demonstrated in having the Iron Man suit with hot-rod red and gold, and in revealing his identity in public despite being told not to. Tony has also shown a strong liking towards heavy metal and rock music groups like Black Sabbath, AC/DC, and Queen. He also shows signs of being a gearhead owning and modifying several expensive cars, having a particular liking towards the Audi R8 model line.
Stark is also known for being exceptionally intelligent and innovative, having built a miniaturized Arc Reactor from scratch in Afghanistan. His intellect has earned him the "Da Vinci of Our Time" nickname, and his inventions of Stark Industries have revolutionized technology for mankind. His past as a businessman had turned him into a very pragmatic individual always taking the quickest, most efficient way out of a problem commenting to Captain America that he would simply "cut the wire" when given the scenario of laying on barbed wire to let others cross it. This behavior put him at odds with the majority of the Avengers during the Avengers Civil War, as they were unwilling to compromise and negotiate with the United Nations regarding the Sokovia Accords which Stark viewed as the easiest way to continue the Avengers' mission of saving people and appease the public's growing fear and unease regarding the team. As a result of this negotiator attitude, Tony was one of three Avengers to not become a fugitive by the end of the Civil War and allowed to continue saving people with the support of the United Nations. This pragmatism extended to his fighting style. When confronted by Ten Rings terrorists holding people hostage he simply switched to a more accurate weapon to kill his foes. During the Avengers Civil War, he displayed this again, having F.R.I.D.A.Y. scan Captain America's fighting style for weaknesses as well simply blasting the Captain away when he and Barnes attempted to tag-team Stark and often using his repulsors to enhance his melee combat. He further displayed his combative pragmatism during the Battle of Titan by first restraining the Infinity Gauntlet before unleashing an unrelenting barrage on Thanos.
Even though he can appear to be self-obsessed, Stark can also be a reliable friend, and occasionally shows affection toward his teammates. Hence, Stark was the only Avenger who encouraged Bruce Banner to embrace his identity of Hulk as a blessing rather than a curse, and trusted him to make good use of Hulk's powers. He has also adopted a mentor role towards Peter Parker, seeing himself in the young hero, and helping him become better by designing an advanced Spider-Man Suit and quietly teasing him about his aunt May Parker, whom Stark considers attractive, Tony was in fact the only Avenger who believed in Parker and sought out his aid. When Tony was caught up by the terrifying vision of Scarlet Witch, he was possessed with great fear of losing all his friends on the Avengers team, and having to live on after they had all been murdered. During the battle, Stark tried his hardest to protect his allies, risking his own life if he has to, notably when he personally carried a nuclear missile through the Tesseract's portal. During the Avengers Civil War, however, Tony became distant and hardened towards his former teammates, especially Captain America, for their stubbornness, although he still cares for them nevertheless, as he went as far as to warn Black Widow that the government are coming for her, looked clearly uncomfortable by how harsh Scarlet Witch was treated in the Raft, and also gave Rogers repeated chances to peacefully and legally settle their feud. Even when angered by Rogers concealing the truth behind his parents' deaths, he still was willing to ask him to stand aside and let him claim revenge on Barnes, although when Rogers refused to stand down, Tony was quick to match his aggression. After calming down and reflecting on what happened as well as Rogers showing he still trusts Tony by sending him a phone, Stark chose to no longer hunt them and even slightly helped them escape the Raft by briefly distracting Ross by pretending to be busy to refuse to help put his friends back in jail. Coming to regret how his rage and arrogance now puts him in distance with the other Avengers, Tony later referred to it with a tone of shame and guilt when Banner suggested he call Rogers. He was willing to call them so they can provide aid against Thanos' imminent arrival, even though he showed great reluctance to do so. His magnetic personality made it easy for him to befriend others, becoming close to Doctor Strange and the Guardians of the Galaxy in the short time they fought together and being visibly saddened at their deaths. Despite not knowing them for long, he recognized that the demise of Gamora had awakened in Quill the same rage that he had succumbed to after learning of Rogers' betrayal and actively attempted to stop the half-human from letting his anger blind him while offering his sympathies over Gamora's demise.
After the Battle of New York, Stark developed a strong fear, that in this new world of "gods" and "aliens", he would be unable to protect the ones he loves, which induced him to become paranoid and full of anxiety, which, in turn, influenced Stark to build first the Iron Legion, and then the Ultron AI, so that the only threats against Earth were from Earth itself. Despite good intentions, Stark's plans to protect people tend to cause problems at times, most notably after his creation Ultron violently rebelled against humankind, requiring the combined might of Stark and his Avengers teammates to bring down. These attacks, that resulted in thousands of civilian casualties, appear to have changed Stark's attitude, as he appears more responsible, serious and hardened, despite his mischievous, wise-cracking nature still remaining dominant. This was seen during his visit to the Raft where he steadfastly refused to take Hawkeye's bait and be reduced to petty insults, instead of maintaining a calm and controlled exterior, as well as casually asking Ant-Man who he is. His fear gave him something of a perfectionist personality and caused him to so intently focus on issues and problems that he unconsciously ignored other matters around him which led to a strain in his relationship with Pepper Potts and his somewhat negative reputation in the Avengers. After learning that Thanos is the one behind the attack, Tony developed a grudge towards him, as shown by how he took time to blame Thanos for his "curse" when Thanos mentioned it.
Compared to his fellow Avengers, however, Tony was very forward-thinking, always seeing a "big picture", willing to take risks, compromise his morals and dabble in shades of gray to achieve results. As seen with the Sokovia Accords, Stark was willing to endure hardships in the present to build a better future. This behavior often put him at odds with his fellow Avengers, especially Captain America, who were content with the status quo. Combined with his unpredictability, some people such as Scarlet Witch thought he was destructive, with her claiming that Ultron's inability to distinguish between saving the world and destroying it comes from Tony. In reality, however, Stark was simply running into some errors during his attempts to plan ahead. Eventually, some, especially Thor, learned to appreciate these traits when it resulted in Vision, a being Mjølnir deemed worthy to wield it. Thor eventually left Earth to search for the Infinity Stones after he'd conceded that Stark's proactive approach to problems was the superior one. The negative stigma surrounding this attitude never dissipated however as during the Avengers Civil War and his subsequent imprisonment in the Raft, Hawkeye mocked this attitude, calling Stark a "futurist" who believed he knew what was best for everyone whether they liked it or not. Banner on the other hand openly admired this attitude to the point that, upon returning to Earth to combat Thanos, he instantly sought out Stark for advice and aid.
During times of great stress and frustration, Stark could become very short-tempered and intolerant of those whom he considered his intellectual inferiors for delaying a solution to the problem either mocking/berating them or ignoring them entirely. This behavior extended to both allies and foes. During the Ultron Offensive, he abrasively mocked Thor to his face for being short-sighted, despite the Asgardian lifting him by the neck seconds earlier. After Ultron's defeat, Tony became better at controlling this aspect of his personality, but never fully let go of it, as seen when he argued with Captain America about the Sokovia Accords in the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building, or when he reproached Peter for making a unilateral attempt to stop Vulture without coordinating with others and later angrily scolding him for sneaking aboard the Q-Ship despite ordering him to return to Earth. He also clashed with Doctor Strange regarding the sorcerer's preference of returning to Earth when Stark found it better to duel Thanos on Titan, away from any innocents. This attitude initially caused friction with the Guardians of the Galaxy to the point that Tony was ready to write them off as useless before Doctor Strange foresaw the path to victory and the Guardians' role to play.
Stark was much closer to his mother, Maria Stark than to his father. Hence, he was visibly affected more by Maria's death than Howard upon the revelation of his parents being murdered and during his fight with the Winter Soldier, avenging her was Tony's priority. When Rogers tried to stop Stark from attacking Barnes, Tony simply responded with an angry "I don't care, he killed my mom.". Indeed, Stark had very mixed feelings about his father Howard Stark, whom he felt had been "cold and distant", which Nick Fury, however, claimed to be false. However, even in such periods, he still did care for his father, as he did feel grief for Howard's death and showed regret for never having the chance to say goodbye. He also wanted to ask Howard whether he was okay with what their family company was doing or if he had doubts. Stark finally came to believe this after learning that Howard wanted Stark to complete his work with the Arc Reactor, and he chose to honor his father's wishes, contemplating what he saw and heard after Howard said that Tony has always been his greatest creation. Although he primarily focused on avenging Maria, he was nevertheless absolutely horrified and showed sadness and anger, closing his eyes and causing his body to tremble in rage, when he watched Barnes killed his father and his better opinion of him was shown best when he later defended Howard's memory by stating that Captain America's shield was Howard's property and that Rogers had proven unworthy of wielding the weapon by defending the Winter Soldier and hiding Howard's murder despite having been beaten by Rogers. Though having learned more of Howard's flaws and shortcomings, Stark still retained lingering issues with his father using his parenting as an excuse for being such a strict mentor to Spider-Man. He was aware of this flaw however and consciously attempted to grow out of it.
Following the Avengers Civil War, Stark adapted into a new role: that of a mentor to the inexperienced superhero, Spider-Man. He connected with Parker due to the similarities between that of him and Stark, such as their love of science, technology, and heroic deeds, yet Tony was not blind to Spider-Man sharing some of his flaws and does his best to stop him from making the same mistakes Iron Man himself has made in the past. Like most mentors, Stark encourages Parker to be more forward-thinking and imaginative with his abilities while also being conscious of Peter's limitations and wanting to keep him out of fights he felt were too dangerous. However, he can also be strict regarding his treatment, such as not allowing him the full capabilities of his Spider-Man suit via Training Wheels Protocol, and later taking it back completely when his recklessness and over-reliance on the suit itself caused innocent lives to be put at risk. He was visibly disappointed and hurt when Parker revealed he was attempting to emulate him as Stark had wanted him to be better than him. Though he could come off as somewhat aloof and detached in his dealings with Spider-Man, this was all done with the intent of making Parker a better superhero than Tony ever was, and after the defeat of Vulture, Stark believed he had succeeded even going so far as to offer the young hero a spot in the Avengers. Some months later, their relationship had strengthened to the point that Stark was openly saddened by Parker's death upon Thanos' completion of the Infinity Gauntlet.
Though considered a hobby, obsession or part of his itinerary, Stark considers the relationship between the Iron Man Suit and himself to be symbiotic, in that he and the suit himself are one. By the time of Aldrich Killian's terrorist attack, he had designed 42 variations of the armor as well as having stylized them with their own color designs, personalities, and names. He often referred to his suit as "he" when he was remotely controlling it with Potts and exclaimed when the suit's finger was pulled off, claiming it would hurt him. This is further supported during and after the Avengers Civil War whereupon the armors became incredibly streamlined and were designed to emulate a second skin. However, he does claim after the Clean Slate Protocol, that despite being without his suits he is still Iron Man.
In spite of his love of the spotlight, the idea of a normal life intrigued Tony greatly as he made attempts to extradite himself from the Iron Man persona and indeed, prior to his involvement in the Infinity War, pondered the possibility of he and Pepper having children together. After the disastrous outcome of the Infinity War, Tony indeed decided to retire and marry Pepper, having a daughter called Morgan Stark. He was initially unwilling to return to being a superhero when presented with a potential chance to undo it all but in the end his guilt over Parker's death allowed him to overcome this and he showed the same amount of selflessness as he had before, willingly sacrificing himself to kill Thanos and his whole army. Despite the agonizing pain he was subjected to as he died, he had accepted his fate, not bothering to try to make his wife, his protégé, his best friend and his fellow comrades do something about it, instead finding comfort in their presence as he spent his last moments and with his last words being to comfort them that they had won, showing no regrets that he had to die for it to happen, and Pepper assuring that she and her daughter along with the rest of the world would be alright, died peacefully.